May 20, 2020
Muted and alienated
Musings and remorse in the season of pandemic
(First published online at Silliman University Divinity School Skepse)
Scripture Texts: Psalm 143
1 Hear my prayer, O Lord;
give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness;
answer me in your righteousness.
2 Do not enter into judgment with your servant,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3 For the enemy has pursued me,
crushing my life to the ground,
making me sit in darkness like those long dead.
4 Therefore my spirit faints within me;
my heart within me is appalled.
5 I remember the days of old,
I think about all your deeds,
I meditate on the works of your hands.
6 I stretch out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me,
or I shall be like those who go down to the Pit.
8 Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning,
for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Save me, O Lord, from my enemies;
I have fled to you for refuge.[a]
1Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
Let your good spirit lead me
on a level path.
11 For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life.
In your righteousness bring me out of trouble.
12 In your steadfast love cut off my enemies,
and destroy all my adversaries,
for I am your servant.
Meditation
Muted and alienated ...
I'm having a kind of ambivalence
If not confusion, or worse recalcitrance---
what to feel and more importantly
what to expect in the coming weeks and months
working in the National Capital Region (NCR).
I felt like I have been muted,
unable to be physically present in meetings and conferences
to deliver sermons or presentations.
All my invitations in the annual sessions cancelled.
I felt like I have been immobilized,
unable to go farther away from the national office
or from Project 6.
My world got smaller everyday due to restrictions
imposed by the Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ)
in Luzon and then the entire country.
Anxiety driven and threats of death ...
The pandemic has instilled the fear of infection.
The moment one is infected,
one has already received his death certificate
where written COVID-19 as cause of death.
The declaration of the Enhance Community Quarantine
or lock down was not well thought of by the government,
It was drastic, compulsive, militarist.
What was in their minds?
The easy way to do a lock down
is to do it military style of quarantine.
It is cheaper to lock down people
in their homes and communities,
instead of launching mass virus testing programs.
South Korea imposed mass testing program, although not perfect at all,
by establishing drive-in testing sites
at the entrances and exits
of highways and expressways
Swabbing everyone who enters and exits key cities and towns.
Here, armed military personnel checked on
Quarantine pass, IDs and cargoes of trucks.
Employment and wages lost ...
Millions of people have to stop working,
the pandemic revealed the ugly consequences
of the nation's class society.
The metropolis was in a standstill.
The nearby public school has no more children playing,
or chanting their songs and rhymes,
No longer can be heard the noisy Lambada music from the jeepney
leaving the compound to have its pasada to Quiapo and Pier
The jeepneys have been parked here since the first day of ECQ
drivers are either stranded in location
or gone to their homes, and just like us, locked down.
EDSA has been decongested of vehicles
and the noisy deafening beep sounds of impatient motorists gone,
And there was silence, at times eerie.
Quarantined ...
Means staying indoors for most of my waking hours,
Occasionally, going to the talipapa to get fresh meat
and fish supply has become a routine for the last nine weeks
Going to the grocery store in big malls
means taking your whole afternoon
as you slowly move forward in the long cue of customers
Just to get a pack of ground coffee, fruits,
and other basic supplies good for a week
Hoarding of groceries was a common scene
in grocery stores of shopping malls
practiced by those who have the money,
Too little or nothing at all for those with less in life
Cooking for yourself, eating alone, singing alone, praying alone
Listening to daily morning and evening newscast,
Newscasts give the head count of infected, deaths, recoveries
Complaints of poor citizens waiting for food relief packs,
social amelioration fund, DOLE unemployment support
was hard to access and come by.
Rights violated, hopes dimmed ...
People losing control of their economic life,
those asserting their right to economic support
were jailed, killed, penalized
Those who like to stay outdoors were called 'pasaway' and punished,
as if their right place is indoors all their lives
Those who resist the quarantine were ordered shot or jailed
Government judges were alerted to issue warrant of arrests
For those who violate quarantine protocols
Why would Bayanihan for Healing as One Act seemed iron fisted?
The people have further been abused and their rights doubly violated.
"We will not die of COVID-19
But surely we will die of hunger, patay sa gutom,"
People in distress murmured.
Domicile becomes hallowed spaces ...
Working from home--
Means not leaving your familiar domestic spaces,
Your dining table is also your desk,
Plastic chairs have practically replaced
the cushioned executive swivel chair
You don't have to walk several meters away to refill your coffee cup
It is just literally within your reach,
But be careful not to spill your hot coffee on your laptop computer.
Ah very tempting, when brain fatigue occurs,
The comfy bed is just few steps away.
You received requests from workmates,
answered emails, write project proposals,
and all that are necessary for the invisible office to run.
The absence of face-to-face meetings
Makes my mind and heart crave for very personal interaction
It might be good to read messages and emails
Or sit in teleconferencing in Zoom or FB messenger
No personal and cultural nuances exposed.
So there are people who likes to impose on others their prerogatives,
Compulsions disclosed, repulsions kept.
I hope that someday, somehow, what has been coined as "new normal"
Will restore our humanity, our human touch, sensitivity,
Intimacy and empathy as God's people.
Praying for God's strength ...
Dear God strengthen my heart and empower my will,
My spirit is weakening, my resilience is diminishing,
Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning
for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul. Amen. +
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